These are just little tidbits of things that are on my mind. I hope you enjoy your time spent peaking inside my brain. Stay as long as you like - I promise, I won't feel a thing... because your not actually inside my head... do I really have to explain it to you? ;-)
Have fun. Comments welcome.
I'm not a political type of girl, nor do I feel I'm an activist or take strong stands on many topics. I'm generally laid back and probably like most Americans, I could be described as complacent. However, the older I get, the more I find myself not only interested in what is going on in our nation, but compelled to take a stand on certain things. I don't support one politician over another, I have a hard time saying that one man is or has the answers to the nation's problems. That is why we have a congress, right? So those elected officials can collaborate and determine what is best practice for us as a community? That being said, I do feel it is of great importance who we choose to place in the White House.
I read an article the other day that my father shared on Facebook. It was about one of the presidential candidates for this upcoming 2012 elections and the apparent stand this person takes on separation of church and state. The article claims this man has declared that the catholic church should be involved in law making (or that the principles they hold should be at any rate). Now, I will gladly admit that I have not done more research to find out whether this article is factual or not in regards to the stand this candidate makes but it brings up the topic of separation of church and state, which spurred my interest.
I was raised Baptist and spent most of my childhood going to church every week and very involved in church activities. My whole life I've heard members of the church say that Christians are persecuted and that we should have prayer in school, etc. One thing that always struck me as off about those statements is one; Christians make up the majority of the American population, two; what about the other kids who aren't Christians? What if they don't believe in a god at all, or they pray in a different way? How would I feel if I were forced to pray like them, or not be allowed to pray at all? How would I feel if the school said, "We're going to pray to Allah and you don't have to, but that is what we will do and you will be an outcast if you don't follow suit"? Saying, "You don't have to," but it's against the norm only makes a child feel ostracized and uncomfortable.
I beg my fellow citizens, my fellow Christians, my fellow PEOPLE, to think about what you're saying when you demand that church be a part of the government. THINK about the reason our nation was founded and HOW our nation was founded. These men didn't want to be ruled by one man who would tell them how they must live their individual lives, they no longer wanted to be persecuted for worshiping (or not worshiping) in the manner they saw best for their own spiritual lives. They saw the corruption caused by a government ruled by a king who was strongly influenced by a church.
"Anyone who knows me well knows that I don't usually involve myself in politics. I don't watch TV and I certainly couldn't tell you who our politicians are (in general) unless their names have been shoved down our throats.
And I love to listen. I'm intrigued by people's opinions, by their point of views. I don't even come close to thinking that I know everything (though I admit, sometimes I fake it like I do know everything :D ).
My point is this; if you are passionate about something, AWESOME! Let's hear what you have to say. But don't expect me to take you seriously unless you can back up what you're saying with FACTS.
To those who may have seen me posting contrary arguments to your posts; please know that I went searching for backup to your argument. I want my friends to be validated. However, I want the validation to be backed up by facts. If I find the your statement to be in error, and post the facts, it's not to be rude or insensitive to how you feel. It's because I believe there are too many people spouting out BS or unfounded opinions and I want your statements to be educated and fact-filled! To these same friends who I post opposing arguments; PLEASE throw it back if you can give me solid evidence to oppose what I've said."
This was a post I made on Facebook one afternoon. I need to vent for a moment. The catalyst to this statement came from a High School acquaintance's post on his page. He is a new Christian who is still learning the ropes. He's headstrong, passionate, and seems to be eager to learn everything he can about his new belief structure. However, this is where my compliments will end for the time being. This guy seems to do what most people, (at least US citizens) tend to do. We read an article, or see something on TV, take it for truth and run with it. We formulate an opinion without doing the legwork to discover the whole story. Why? Because it's easy. Because we want to believe that the people giving us our news are impartial. That these people are knowledgeable... that these people have done their homework.
The sad truth is, EVERYONE has an agenda. Everyone has an opinion, a feeling that what they believe is the true and right way to live or believe. We're all guilty of it. I found that when I was replying to his post, I'd only viewed part of the video, did research and made a statement that I had to later edit because I finished watching the video he had referred to.
I guess the whole point of all of this is that I am urging you, my readers to be educated. Ask questions and have independent thought. Don't make a snap judgement or decision based on how something seems on the surface or how you reacted emotionally to it. Take that passion and do some digging! We Americans have become so complacent that we are being robbed of our dignity, our money, and our freedom every day by the people we "trust" to look out for our well being.
This post is for anyone who is new to communicating on the internet. It's like a whole new language of communication and it can be overwhelming. So, here are a few things to help you out.
To start, a couple little "guidelines" to consider:
1. When writing a comment or a post in social medias such as Facebook, remember that you are using text. Tone of voice is not recognized by the people on the other end. So, be sure to be clear and concise in what you're saying. Proof read your post before hitting the "enter" key to submit it. And remember, sarcasm doesn't always translate to text as it would if the person were listening to your voice.
2. Caps MAKES IT LOOK LIKE YOU'RE SCREAMING/SHOUTING AT SOMEONE and can be offensive. It's best to use caps at little as possible and ONLY if you're actually intended to shout at someone, or you are attempting to emphasize one particular word, as I have done.
3. Just as in real life, face to face contact with people, do your best to use the manners your mother taught you. We all respond better to honey rather than vinegar.
4. Do your best to use punctuation. By using commas and periods in the appropriate places, you will be less likely to mis-communicate a thought and you will show that you an intelligent person who's thoughts are worth investing time into reading.
If you remember these two small things, you will likely avoid a landslide of irritated replies, or find that people either stop talking to you or disconnect.
Now, you're probably saying, "What about all the jargon? What do all those acronyms mean?" Well, I will list the most common terms below for you and "translate" them to English.
LOL = Laughing out Loud (most people use this in place of typing, "hahaha" to show they find something funny)
LMAO = Laughing My Ass Off (see notes on LOL. Also, this one may also be written as LMBO = Laughing My Butt Off, for those who prefer not to swear)
ROFLMAO = Rolling On the Floor Laughing My Ass Off (is often shortened to ROFL for convenience)
OMG = Oh My God (used to express and exclamation as it is used in verbal communication)
OMFG = Oh My F&*^%#$@ God (extreme use of OMG)
IMHO = In My Humble Opinion
WTF = What The F$%# (in proper grammar, should be completed with a question mark)
NP = No Problem
BRB = Be Right Back
HB = Hurry Back
WB = Welcome Back
TY = Thank You
YW = You're Welcome
K = OK
There are more, as you might imagine, but I believe these are the most common you will find in every day online social networks, texts, and IM chats.
I hope this crash course was helpful! Please post comments or questions. Did I miss anything important?
I just spent some time at the bar, celebrating our Independence Day with a friend of mine. We were out on the patio when we were joined by three Native American people. They were friendly, funny, and easy to get along with, though, its not difficult for me or my friend to get along with anyone, really. We're both very amiable people and like to meet new people and learn, always interested in learning. Though I've met Native American people before, I've not really ever had an opportunity to discuss things like cultural differences in the past. I am always up for hearing of others' life experiences, and learn about where they come from. It was interesting to hear about this woman's life, and how she felt about "the white man," though, I have to say, that what I felt after the experience, left me feeling like I was being discriminated against, simply because of the color of my skin.
This isn't a new concept for me, as I grew up in a Hispanic town, where I was the minority, and was discriminated against for being the white kid in class when I was young. I can relate to how people of minority groups feel, I've been there, experienced it first hand. What bothers me most, is that the things I was taught in school were things like, compassion, and to be sensitive to other races, blur the lines of skin color, accept people for who they are and not what they look like. All fantastic concepts however, are white kids the only ones being taught this way? I've found that because it was pounded into me to be sensitive to racial issue, that I was always afraid when encountering other ethnicities, that I was so afraid that just because I was white, that I'd say something to offend them. That being said, other ethnicities seem to be able to say whatever they want about white people, and its ok!
This whole idea is mind boggling to me. I was literally called "dumb" tonight, just because I'm white! Just because I didn't grow up on a reservation, I'm automatically racist, and don't know jack, or can't empathize with people who did. I was raised in a poor family. I know what its like to have to scrimp and save for every little thing! When I was a teenager, and had a job, my brother and I put our own money in to pay for milk for the family, because that's what was necessary. But, to people of other skin colors, I'm just a dummy who knows nothing about struggle, because my skin is white. Isn't that just as racist as me saying the same of them?
My friend apologized to them tonight, because of what our ancestors did to their people, which is admirable however, HE didn't do those things! HE didn't force them onto reservations. And neither did I. I asked him, what are you apologizing for? I mean, really? It was like he was taking on our ancestors' deeds as his own. I agree, the actions in the past may have been wrong, and unwarranted. The native people should not have been treated the way they were! But why should I apologize to them for their life now, when I don't force them to be where they are. They have a choice, just like the rest of us. I grew up poor! I made the conscious decision to better my life, to work hard and work towards doing something to improve my life. Can they not do the same? I mean, we have affirmative action in place for a reason! They have more opportunities handed to them by our government, by my tax dollars than I will ever have! I pay taxes so they have the same or better opportunities to succeed than I do! Yet, I repress them, simply by being alive and white.
I've been faced with this same issue throughout my whole life. I know there is a lot of controversy over Mexicans coming into our country and people think that they are leaching off our system. And perhaps there are some that do, I'm not as knowledgeable about those issues as perhaps I should be. However, the experience I've had with the Hispanic culture, is that those who came from Mexico, came here to better themselves. I have to have respect for that. They work hard and do whatever they can to have a better life, and to provide for their families. But there are other cultures in our country who find it absolutely necessary to rub it in my face that my ancestors repressed them. I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do about the past. The best each of us can do is learn from it so that it isn't repeated. EACH person here, regardless of race, creed, sexual preference, etc., has every opportunity to make a difference in their own life, and the lives of the people around them. Why dwell on the past that you cannot change? Why tell someone else they're dumb because they didn't grow up the way you did? Why think it's necessary assume that because someone has a different color skin, that they don't know what its like to walk in your shoes?
I'm Irish/Scottish, amongst other things. My ancestors were equally repressed and mistreated by the same nation that repressed the Native Americans! I don't go around saying, "Oh my god, the Brittish are dumb assholes!" I don't expect that Brits should apologize to me for my ancestors' misfortunes and mistreatment! Why should I have to feel obligated to do the same for Native Americans or African Americans?
I realize this post may make me look racist however, I'm far from it. As I've said before, I know what its like to be treated differently because of the color of my skin. When I meet someone, I don't look at them and label them. I don't say to myself or anyone else, "Oh, they're x color so they must... (fill in the blank)." THAT would be racist. Rather, I see someone and try to get to know who they are, what they've experienced in life, what they want from life and where they see themselves going, as an individual. Do I not deserve the same treatment? Shouldn't all races/cultures be taught to be sensitive and blur the lines of skin color? Why should I accept someone treating me as a lower person than them, just because of my skin color?
Grief is a funny thing. One minute a person can be crying, the next angry as hell at anyone around them, even those they love dearly. That has been my emotional state this last week and a half, since the passing of my grandmother. It is very difficult to keep into perspective the importance or unimportance of certain details. I find it also difficult to be less angry with those who I feel have been inappropriate during this time. I try to remind myself daily that just because someone doesn't show it, doesn't mean they don't feel pain at the loss of a loved one. Grief seems to make even the most caring and unselfish of people focus almost solely on themselves.
Despite the negatives that I've experienced through all this, there are some positive things that have come out of it. I've learned where I stand with my family who I've been apart from most of my life, simply because we live on opposite sides of the country. Our family was able to come together to comfort and lift one another up. For once in my life, I no longer feel like an outsider in my own family.
Unfortunately, I also have a new outlook on where I stand in my father's eyes. It saddens me that I can feel so close to my family thousands of miles away, yet suddenly feel the distance grow between myself and a father who lives 50 miles away. Ten years of building a relationship with him has been beat up by this experience, and I fear it will take too long to heal these wounds. I will continue to pray for patience, peace and understanding, as it will be necessary to get me through.
The last two weeks have been a whirl wind of emotions for me. I haven't seen my family in Tennessee for several years, and was fortunate enough to be able to take a trip down to see them. I picked up my grandfather in New Jersey and he and I drove for 10 hours to get to Tennessee. It was one of the most enriching experiences. We talked for nearly the whole time. Getting to know my grandfather is something I've always wished for, and now that I'm an adult, I truly appreciate the time we've spent together. Not only did we get the 10 hours down, but the 10 hours back to New Jersey.
I was also fortunate enough to spend several hours with my grandmother, just listening to her tell me stories of her life, and her side of the family. I got to see pictures of her when she was young, hear of her days in Texas, how she met my grandfather, and some college stories. And don't tell my grandfather, but she also told me about racing cars in the 50's. *giggles*
In addition to these blessings, I spent my days in Tennessee with my two youngest cousins. One I've only met twice, who is and always was a very mature and wonderful young man. And the other I met for the first time - talk about personality!! I never knew a 4 year old could be that outlandish and creative! They're both very dear to me and I miss them more each day.
My aunt and uncles are the same as they were the last time I saw them. Some things will never change. I just have to say, my aunt is the sweetest and most caring person I know.
My brother drove up from North Carolina with his family. I didn't expect they'd be able to come since my newest nephew was less than 2 weeks old at the time. Seeing them made my heart soar and was quite possibly the best gift I've ever received.
I take that back, my whole trip was the best gift I have ever received. I consider myself to be extremely blessed to have been granted this time with my family and hope that I will be fortunate enough to return soon under the best of circumstances.
Mr. Jake Ob was the sweetest, most gentle, and loving dog I've ever met. He could never harm a fly, although he tried, he was usually too slow. A beast of a dog, when people met him they usually said, "He's not a dog, he's a horse!" The funny thing is, he never let anyone ride him! Shawn would joke that he was going to charge the neighborhood kids for rides on Jake's back... boy would they have been disappointed.
Jake had been steadily declining over the last several weeks. Finally unable to stand, we decided it was time to take him for one last car ride. He left us too young, he would have been 8 years old in December. My house is not the same without him. His bed is still in the living room where he camped out every day, but he's not there. There will be one less body snoring in our bedroom tonight. I'll miss him tilting his head and looking curiously at the television when the theme for 3rd Rock From the Sun comes on. I'll miss his happy face greeting me at the door when I come home from a long day at work.
Jakie, I know you're better where you are. I'll be dreaming of you playing ball, chewing on sticks that are too big for you, and hearing your tail whap the floor as you wag it. Mommy loves you buddy. You're sorely missed.
In loving memory of Jake Ob Abbott December 30, 2000 - November 15, 2008
The dark, short days of fall and winter are here, and along with them come a certain expectation that I will be feeling a little blue. However, I seem to be hitting a point in time where most everything is going poorly. It seems the saying, "when it rains, it pours" certainly applies at the moment. Ha ha, I almost feel as if my life is a country song! Maybe I should play it in reverse... then I'll get my dog back, my car back, my woman back! (oh my!)
Seriously though, I'm feeling like the title of this post, "beaten, battered, and worn." How long must this go on? After brief reflection, I believe that part of how I'm feeling is my own doing. Maybe its time for a reality check, a come to Jesus with myself.
Recently I was fortunate enough to be able to go back to the summer camp I went to every year as a kid, only this time, I was a camp counselor. I found the experience to be sereal, because it has been soooooo many years since I've been up there, and because this time, I wasn't a camper. However different it may have been for me, it was still a very rewarding experience, in fact, maybe moreso than when I was a kid. I have to say, I fell in love with all those kids - even the ones who were "difficult." Other counselers found it overwhelming to interact with some of them, well, mainly two or three of the boys, and I feel like they simply gave up on them. It broke my heart to see that the innocence of these children had been taken away from them, and now we were given an opportunity to help them to just be kids! even in the face of that, some of the adults were unable to set aside their personal feelings, and just show these boys some genuine affection. Kids don't act out because they just feel like being brats! They act out because they're searching for attention, right?
Well, I guess all that matters is I felt like I made a difference for at least a couple of these kids. Hopefully it will stay with them and help them to realize that there's more in life than just what you have to deal with at home. Hopefully they will be able to keep their spirits up in times of struggle. You never know, maybe their renewed attitude will help things between them and the "parental units."
So, my fiance and I have officially been together for 9 years! WOW!!! In some respects, it feels like there's no way that much time has gone by. In other respects, it feels like 9 years is exactly as long as its been. And I don't mean it in a bad way - I mean it in the nicest way possible. We've both grown so much in that time. I can't imagine my life without him. I know it sounds cliche, but its true.
Its been over eight years since I graduated from high school. Since then, I've worked - a lot - and had sworn to myself that I was only going to take a year or two off from school. Well, a year or two turned into eight. But now, I've decided to finally take that leap. I started college this fall. I haven't felt this excited and scared since the day before my first day of high school (except maybe when I moved to Cali for a short time a couple years ago).
I'm loving being in school. I signed up for two classes, Psychology and Drawing. Being an artist, naturally I thought that I would enjoy Drawing more than Psychology - I was affraid I wasn't ready for a class like Psych. Ironically, I've found that I enjoy Psych more than Drawing! My Drawing instructer has done nothing but rub me the wrong way since the first day. She'll draw right on your project to show you how she thinks it should look instead of using a separate sheet of paper, and she's wishy washy - constantly changing her mind. In the world of art you come to expect eccentricity, but she's down right obnoxious. I come home from her class feeling drained instead of excited about my projects. The atmosphere is very repressive. She won't even allow us to really talk to each other. The best class period we had was with the substitute. We were all talking, laughing, joking around with eachother! I came home from class actually smiling and telling my fiance how wonderful class was!
When I began school, I thought I knew what I wanted to be when I "grew up". Now, I'm considering going in a completely different direction! It's amazing how quickly even a firmly placed decision can be changed, just by one or two small experiences.
autumn wind bringing winter's inevitable fury arboral wrath enraged dancing red, orange, yellow, brown complaining of the approaching funnels of dead twirl changes on the horizon delight fear pumpkins crafted glowing eyes and smirks stories of spirits lingering sweets, pie, turkey closely stalking
GOD, grant me the SERENITY To ACCEPT the things I CANNOT change The COURAGE to change the things that I CAN And the WISDOM to know the DIFFERENCE!
I don't know how many things I've needlessly stressed about in my life. Most of which, I could not change, and had one hell of a time accepting that. I'm constantly reminded how important it is to be able to realize what is within your power and what is not. It usually doesn't occur to me right away, but I get there sooner or later. The only thing I can absolutely change is my behavior, my thinking, my philosophies, and over all, my attitude. Everything else isn't really up to me. I can express my opinions to others, listen to other's opinions, but who am I to think that I can change anyone else?
I've been very selfish lately. I've been complaining about something that really isn't about me. Yes, it affects me, but can I change it? Nope. I guess I'll just have to be the bigger person and lead by example, change my behavior. The rest is up to them.
I was IM-ing with my grandpa tonight. We don't talk much, but when we do it's usually about gardening. He used to have a huge garden at his home in New Jersey. I remember going to visit one summer when I was really young. My brother and I would go out to the garden and eat raspberries of each kind right off the bush. We would pick raspberries, blueberries, and grapes and bring them in to our grandma asking her to make something with them. I don't remember that she actually did, but it didn't matter to us. We just had so much fun playing in the garden.
I think having both my grandfathers with gardens kind of inspired me to plant my own. I've always loved plants, and now that we own a house, and have for several years, it was time to try my hand at gardening. So far my fiance and I have done a wonderful job. Our pumkins are raging, so are the zucchini. We have corn, peppers, (red and green bell as well as hot peppers of all sorts) carrots, onions, and cucumbers. Everything we have is growing so much better than I could have dreamed. (We'd tried a small garden our first summer together but we were very young and not as dedicated as we needed to be to make it work.)
It's such an amazing feeling to know that we've planted something from seed, nurtured, and loved it and it's actually growing. If anyone ever needs to find a sense of accomplishment, grow something (and I don't mean grow mold on leftovers in your refrigerator). There's such satisfaction, sense of accomplishment, and healing for the soul to be found.
I've had the pleasure of recently being employed with an online charter school called Colorado Distance and Electronic Learning Academy (CDELA). The teachers are wonderful people, and the whole premise of the school is such a fantastic way for parents who want an alternative to a brick and mortar public school. Students login to the website for a set number of hours from home. There are regular live web classes each week. Books, computer, fax/printer/scanner, and internet connection reimbursement are all provided - at no cost to the parents. And the best part is there is no tuition! Students must be Colorado residents to apply. I wish there were schools like this when I was a kid!
The school needs help though. They've only been open for one school year and as any beginning business/program it takes time to build. If you know anyone who would be interested in this type of learning opportunity, please send them this link. There are meet and greets going on all over the state of Colorado where parents and kids can meet the teachers and other parents who's children are enrolled with CDELA. It's a great opportunity to ask questions up close and personal. For information on the school or the meet and greet schedule go to www.cdela.com or call 866.442.3352.
I don't want this post to sound like an advertisement for the school, but I can't help but promote something I believe in, so there you have it.
these are some things i've learned over the last eight years or so. i hope you can relate.
i've learned
i've learned
that you can respect someone without loving them,
and you can love someone without respecting them
i've learned
the meaning of the phrase, soul mate
i've learned
blood isn't necessarily thicker than water i've learned
that just because someone goes to church, it doesn't make them a christian
i've learned
that i don't have to go to church to be a good person
or to love God
i've learned
that you should never take someone for granted,
they could turn around and surprise you
i've learned
to trust that when one door is closed, a more amazing door will be opened
i've learned
my gut knows more than my head
i've learned
age doesn't matter, it's one's maturaty that counts
i've learned
how to forgive, but not forget
i've learned
everyone is worth forgiving, over and over again i’ve learned my parents don’t know everything, but they sometimes know more than me i’ve learned love is totally different than lust i’ve learned divorce doesn’t always mean you’ve fallen out of love i've learned
I'm looking for a job these days. That's been a lot of fun... well, not really. This whole job search thing makes me feel so helpless. I'm at the mercy of HR managers and recruiters. It sucks not being in control of what I'm doing. The waiting games totally sucks, and whenever I call to follow up with the companies I've applied to (or my staffing company) they act like its a huge inconvenience that I'm calling. On the other hand, if I didn't call, they'd think I wasn't that interested. Double edged sword, I guess.
My severence pay is running out and I still don't know whether I'm going to be approved for unemployment through the state. It's getting a little stressful for me. I know it will all work out somehow, and I'm better off not working where I was - that job was incredibly rediculous.
Anyway, if you know anyone looking for a good Administrative Assistant, or someone who's an expert at window coverings, flooring, paint, or gardening, let me know.
Someone asked me recently what my dream job would be... I think my dream job would be in a place filled with creativity, where I can express my creativity as well as be influenced by other creative people; where I can be an organizational freak, enjoy the people I work with, and feel like I'm making a difference. Is that too much to ask?
I spent a good deal of time recently at the closest mall to me. I have to say, I don't see why anyone would want to. Everything is over-priced, there are a ton of teenagers who just block the aisles and have no consideration for people who are actually shopping.
I can't remember really ever liking to shop for clothes, but as I'm the heaviest now that I've ever been in my life, I have to say my dislike is slowly turning into despise. Finding clothes that should fit (and the tag always reads a size I'd never thought I'd have to try on) and then changing in a dirty, sometimes creepy dressing room is not my idea of a good time. I certainly do not want to see myself naked (or mostly naked anyway) but I'm also always afraid the attendant is going to forget they put me in that room and open it up while I'm topless or in my underpants for the whole world to see my humiliation.
I wish our society was less concerned about image and judging what others look like and focus on things that really matter. Really, it seems to be human nature to pass judgement and worry about things like class, style, and the general attractiveness of others compared to themselves.
I'm not a materialistic person, but I seem to find myself feeling like I should be ashamed of wearing a generic t-shirt instead of a designer one when I'm around the general public. It's rediculous! I hate that I find myself conforming my thoughts to how I see others react to someone who is extremely over weight, or who has tattered clothes. I find myself thinking that they should be ashamed of themselves. But that's not who I am. I am a caring, compassionate person. It makes me dislike myself when I have those thoughts... doesn't anyone else feel that way about themselves when they pass judgement that way?
